Idiot, or Why I’m actually the worst one

Hey, guys. It’s me again. The guy with the emotional fuckups.

Guess what! Since last time, I’ve gotten myself a girlfriend!

Now this is the story all about how
my life got flipped, turned upside down.
And I’d like to take a minute, just sit right there
I’ll tell you how I became the prince of fucking despair.

Last weekend I took a trip to Oslo, the capitol of Norway, to visit people, to check out shops I don’t usually see, and just to get away from Bergen for a while. A nice time. I like that.

One of the many people I met were Kitten – And yes, she’s small, cuddly and fucking cute. She’s one of the people I met when I was into school politics, and truly one of the most beautiful people I know of, and I haven’t even started to talk about her outside, which is also very nice. I like her, and I’ve tried to stay in touch.

Me and her actually became quite good friend over the take of a weekend, with seminars and stuff. Later we’ve just been talking over the Internet and met up a couple of times. But we’ve never done anything remotely more sexual than a hug. And except for saying that we should hang out if I ever go to Oslo and vice versa, there hasn’t been much more than that.

I went out with her, and some friends of hers, to have some beers. And she likes me as well. I mean, what can I say. She likes me as well.

I was getting semi-drunk off of my beer, and we were sort of cuddling. As I was stroking her lower back and she having her hand on my inner thigh, I was happy.

And now, for the part where I tell about my girlfriend. Oh, you didn’t get that? No, Kitten is not my girlfriend. And this is why I’m actually the worst one. You probably remember Tigress, right? And I might, or might not, have mentioned that my last relationship took a halt when my girlfriend, high on Extacy, sent an SMS to someone she was falling for (not me). So, I’m not keen on the whole “cheating on”-process. And I still cheated on my girlfriend. I hate it when I fuck things up for myself.

Well, yes, now for the part where I tell about my girlfriend. Panther. She’s wonderful. Her head is filled with amazing thoughts, she’s clever in the artsy way, she is darkly funny, and she is mentally unstable. At times, very unstable. I seem to pick them out just great, huh?

So, the deal is, I sort of want to end the relationship with Panther, but I’m afraid that she’ll be tipped aside by me dumping her, and that she’ll frenzy. And a frenzying Panther is not good.

How could I do this? I know the feeling of being cheated, and how hard that is. And I still did it. I’m not seeing this as a good start to a relationship.. We’ll see how long this one lasts..

Bottomline: I idiot am.